Thanks for the Memories, FOX

Written by Harper. Posted by Spork Boy.

Hats off to the FOX director for last night’s Game 5 of the Division Series between the Angels and Yankees.

Man, if you were here right now, I would kiss you. Your keen eye for what the game is all about left me with the greatest image of the playoffs so far. Let me describe it to you readers who were not fortunate enough to see it.

Let’s cut to the seventh inning. The Angels are ahead 5-2. Mr Yankee himself, Derek Jeter, once again proves he is the heart and soul of the Bronx Bombers, smashing a dinger to bring his team to within two. Now, let’s zoom in on the next batter. It’s A-Rod. Let’s bring up his statistics on the screen, please. Good. Now let’s leave them there for a few more moments so the announcers can talk about the .238 batting average for the series and the ZERO RBIs. Good. Okay, let’s get a nice good close-up of A-Rod, especially that scowl he gives the pitcher. Good. Good stuff.

Let’s cut to the top of the eighth. The Yanks are still down 5-3. Let’s pan the Yankee dugout. Hey, whoa! Hold it there. Hey, look at this. It’s A-Rod, who is the sixth hitter due up, standing in the dugout swinging a bat. Come on, we need to zoom in on the face. Look at that. It’s the “Man, I am going to swing this bat until I am up because I am so ready to smack the crap out of the ball and I want the whole world to see I am a man, a real man, and that I am so ready for this next at-bat so you’d better watch out ” face. This is great stuff.

Let’s cut to the top of the ninth. Jeter does it again: single to center. All the Yanks need is one swing to tie the game. And man, wouldn’t it really help if the league leader in home runs was up right now. Oh wait, he is. A-Rod is up. Good. Good tension here. Let’s get a close-up of A-Rod’s face because we know from his dugout antics that he is very ready for this moment. Let’s see that scowl again. Yup, he’s ready. This is his chance to erase the memory of ZERO ribbies for the series. This is his chance to for once show his worth in the post-season. This is his chance to…to…to hit into a double play. Replay, please. Replay. Yes, a double play. It’s a 6-4-3 double play.

Let’s cut to the Angels fans. Let’s cut to A-Rod. Let’s cut to the Angels fans. Let’s cut to A-Rod. Close-up on A-Rod, please. Hmm. He seems to be chewing on something. Might it be the ZERO ribbies for the series? Chew on that all winter, A-Fraud.

Thanks, FOX director. You were on your game last night. It was a thing of beauty.