Here's What I Think of Your Little Friend

I just found out today that the PGA has its own Hall of Fame. Of course, this makes sense. Most professional sport leagues have one. The latest entry into the HOF was Vijay Singh, full-time golfer, part-time nemesis to Harper.

I could give a rip about the golf HOF, but how Singh was enshrined has placed a golf ball-sized burr up my buttock.

To be elected, a player must receive 65 percent of the vote from players from the PGA Tour and International ballot. Two years ago, HOF officials added a stipulation that if no one receives 65 percent, then they select the ones with the highest percentage of vote provided he is on at least 50 percent of the ballots. Vijay had 56 percent.

It was the second time the Hall of Fame changed its criteria, lowering the standard from 75 percent to 65 percent in 2001 after no one from the PGA Tour was elected.

This is just stupid. What kind of selection rules are these? If I were VJ, I'd be insulted. "Vijay, you weren't good enough to receive enough votes to qualify for the HOF, but since you were the highest vote getter this year and we needed to let SOMEBODY in, well...here ya go."

I can see the headline in 2007 now:

Scooter McPutt Butt Elected to PGA HOF.

Scotter McPutt Butt, an amature from BFE, South Dakota,was the only player elected from the PGA Tour ballot, receiving 16 percent of the vote and benefiting from a recently added clause in the criteria that allows anybody who every played a PGA match to be eligible.

"SHEEEEEEEEEIT," Scotter was quoted as saying.

Scooter joins the likes of Tiger Woods, Jack Nicolas, Arnold Palmer, and Bernie Longshanks.

"I've been playing golf for like five years now. I never expected this to happen BEFORE my 23rd birthday,” said an excited McPutt Butt. “Hell. I ain't even broke par yet.”

Here’s what I would LOVE to see:

At the awards ceremony, Vijay should just piss on the award in front of the panel and yell, "This is how you're treating the former number one ranked golfer in the world."

And he would say it with the Scarface accent. "Here's what I think of your little friend." Now THAT’S a hall of fame ceremony I could watch.